Mini Habit 33: Gee om vir EEN mens

The easiest kind of relationship for me is with ten thousand people. The hardest is with one.
Joan Baez
Mini Habit: In plaas daarvan om alle mense lief te hê, word ons dalk in die eerste plek geroep om die mense met wie ons WEL kontak het elke dag, deur God se oë te sien. Is daar EEN mens wat tans op jou gemoed lê? Hoe kan jy vir haar of hom goed wees?

Mini Habit 32: Reis na 'n ander se eiland

The most important trip you may take in life is meeting people halfway.
Henry Boye

Love is not only something you feel. It is something you do.
David Wilkerson

Mini Habit 31: Nxt xxn foutjix

Sxlfs al is hixrdix tikmasjixn ‘n ou modxl, wxrk dit nog baix goxd, bxhalwx vir xxn ou slxutxltjix. Jou sou dink dat as al dix andxr wxrk dit nix saak sou maak as xxn foutixf is nix, dat nixmand dit xxrs sou agtxrkom nix. Maar nxt xxn foutjix bxdxrf dix hxlx xffxk.
Hxt jy al ooit vir jousxlf gxsê: “Xk’s nxt xxn mxns. Wat xk doxn maak gxxn vxrskil nix.” Dit maak ‘n vxrskil, as xlkxxn nix sy of haar bixtjix doxn nix, kan ‘n famlix, dorp of kxrk nix bxstaan nix.
As jy dus xxn van daai dax hxt wat jy dink jy is nix baix bxlangrik nix xn nxt wil opgxx, onthou dix ou tikmasjixn. Jy is bxlangrik, xn as jy sou onttrxk sal niks rondom jou wxrk soos dit moxt nix.

Mini Habit: Omarm en vier jou gawes. Wat is dit wat jy bring wat spesiaal is? Hoe kan jy dit celebrate. Vra vir mense om jou om vir jou te sê op watter manier jy spesiaal is.

Mini Habit 30: Kies om lief te hê

Liefde is om te kies om die regte ding te doen ongeag hoe jy voel.
Heldur Nork

Moenie tyd mors om te wonder of jy jou naaste lief het nie, begin optree asof jy hom liefhet. Sodra ons dit doen, ontdek ons een van die groot lewensgeheime. As ons optree asof ons iemand liefhet, begin jy hom spoedig liefhê. As jy iemand seermaak wat jy liefhet, kom jy agter dat jy hom al minder van hom hou. As jy hom ‘n guns doen, sal jy ontdek dat hy jou minder irriteer.

In his book Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis

Mini Habit: Tree op asof jy liefhet!

Mini Habit 29: Waag dit om lief te hê

'n Gunsteling aanhaling uit C.S.Lewis se boek The Four Loves:

I believe that the most lawless and inordinate loves are less contrary to God’s will than a self-invited and self-protective lovelessness…We shall draw nearer to God, not by trying to avoid the sufferings inherent in all loves, but by accepting them and offering them to Him; throwing away all defensive armour. If our hearts need to be broken, and if He chooses this as a way in which they should break, so be it. What I know about love and believe about love and giving ones heart began in this.
Mini Habit: Waag dit om lief te hê, al is dit onbeholpe.

Mini Habit 28: Love is an act

“Love isn’t an act, it’s a whole life.

It’s staying with her now because she needs you;

it’s knowing you and she will still care about each other

when sex and daydreams, fights and futures—

when all that’s on the shelf and done with.

Love—why,

I’ll tell you what love is:

it’s you at seventy-five and her at seventy-one,

each of you listening for the other’s step

in the next room, each afraid

that a sudden silence, a sudden cry,

could mean a lifetime’s talk is over.”

Brian Moore, The Luck of Ginger Coffey

Mini Habit 27: Fake it till you make it

Newspaper columnist and minister George Crane tells of a wife who came into his office full of hatred toward her husband. "I do not only want to get rid of him, I want to get even. Before I divorce him, I want to hurt him as much as he has me."
Dr. Crane suggested an ingenious plan "Go home and act as if you really love your husband. Tell him how much he means to you. Praise him for every decent trait. Go out of your way to be as kind, considerate, and generous as possible. Spare no efforts to please him, to enjoy him. Make him believe you love him. After you've convinced him of your undying love and that you cannot live without him, then drop the bomb. Tell him that you're getting a divorce. That will really hurt him." With revenge in her eyes, she smiled and exclaimed, "Beautiful, beautiful. Will he ever be surprised!"
And she did it with enthusiasm. Acting "as if." For two months she showed love, kindness, listening, giving, reinforcing, sharing. When she didn't return, Crane called. "Are you ready now to go through with the divorce?"
"Divorce?" she exclaimed. "Never! I discovered I really do love him."
Mini habit: Ons gedrag verander dikwels one gevoelens. "Motion " loop uit op "emotion." Ons vermoë om lief te hê kom dikwels tot stand, nie soseer deur 'n besluit nie, maar deur goed wat ons oor en oor doen - little habits. Miskien is daar 'n rol by die werk, 'n projek, 'n verhouding waarin jy kan voorgee totdat die klein gewoonte 'n werklikheid begin raak.

Mini Habit 26: Stop en hoop

Faith has to do with things that are not seen and hope with things that are not at hand.
Thomas Aquinas.

Met Pandorta en Epimetheus se troue gee Mercury vir die jong egpaar 'n boksie om te geniet. Maar onder geen omstandighede mag hulle dit oopmaak nie.
Soos dit gaan met stories van verbode vrugte kry Pandora se nuuskierigheid die oorhand. Die ding wat sy verbied is om te doen is toe later al wat sy wil doen. Een dag loer sy toe in die boksie. Skielig borrel daar 'n swerm insekte uit en steek die twee jong geliefdes met wantroue, haat, vrees en agterdog. Die eens gelukkige paartjie begin nou stry. Epimetheus raak bitter en Pandora huil met 'n gebroke hart.
Te midde van die onmin hoor hulle 'n klein stemmetjie roep: Laat my uitkom! Ek sal julle pyn wegneem.
Vreesbevange maak hulle weer die boksie oop en die keer glip daar 'n mooi skoenlappetjie uit. Dit roer albei van hulle en wonder bo wonder begin hulle pyn verminder en raak hulle weer gelukkig.
Die skoenlappertjie, so gaan die verhaal, is 'hoop.'
Dit is hoop wat ons dra, dit is hoop wat ons pyn salf!
Mini Habit: As ons ons lewens vanuit God se perspektief sien en bewus raak van wat God beloof het, groei hoop in ons. As ons egter vergeet waarheen God met ons op pad is, raak ons vasgevang in elke dag se probleme en raak die lewe vir ons hopeloos. Raak bewus van die klein stemmetjie van hoop in jou verhoudings, by die werk, in jou vriendskappe en in jou lewe.

Mini Habit 25: Staan op

Success is never final. Failure is never fatal.
Joe Paterno

Mini Habit: Jesus se grootste nederlaag was sy grootste oorwinning. Die opstanding maak ons 'opstandig.' Mislukking is nooit finaal nie.

Mini Habit 24: Be vulnerable

There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken.
If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket — safe, dark, motionless, airless — it will change.
It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation.
The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and disruptions of love is Hell.


C.S.Lewis in sy boek The Four Loves


Mini Habit: Kies om jouself kwesbaar the hou vir liefde, selfs al het jy in die verlede seergekry. Wys vandag vir iemand wat sy of haar vriendskap of kameraadskap vir jou beteken.